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Psychic Services, Indeed! T. Renee Richardson, D.D.
“The Edge of Plight” An Interactive, Metaphysical Soap Opera Comedy Drama T. Renee Richardson, D.D. The Setting: This drama is set in the fictional (?) realm of Headphoneland. Look on the map of Meditative State to find it. Any similarities to actual folks are inevitable. The Primary Characters Madame Tonia: The town visionary. Slogan: “Madame Tonia. Knows nothing, tells all.” Description: Strong, feminine, magnetically attractive, eccentric woman of many colors with long, thick, shiny, ever-changing silver hair. Age unknown. Creative dresser. Outrageous yet meditative. Sometimes bumps into things due to anesemetropia and a fierce insistence upon using her third eye more than the first two. Alternately entertaining and sharp-tongued, she is noted for making bizarre statements and then giggling off into the horizon—provided that she remembers which direction is West. Of Note: Do not mispronounce her name if you want her attention. The accent is on the middle syllable. Lives alone with lots of plants—all of which have names. Sociable yet seems to prefer solitude. Hates gossip. Probably confides in Count Chocula. Deep, Dark Secret: Frightened of Jello. Count Chocula: The town boogeyman. Slogan: “Don’t be scared, I’m a dance instructor!” Description: Eerily handsome man with delicately muscular features. Silky, dark wavy hair and ever-changing beard. Hauntingly piercing iridescent royal blue eyes, exotic, indistinguishable accent. Lyrical speaking voice; multilingual. Calm demeanor. Bronze skin; country of origin unknown but looks like a Japanese Egyptian. Age unknown, birth unverified. Great dancer—smoother than the indigo rayon velvet cape he often wears. Of Note: Count Chocula has no trouble finding a partner yet seems to prefer dancing alone. Unsubstantiated rumors regarding the caretaker of his estate consuming insects. Frequently seen at night near either his dance studio or Madame Tonia’s multi-private retreat center. Their connection is the subject of much town gossip. Neither could care less. Deep, Dark Secret: Closet feng shui expert. The Secondary Characters Will change from time to time, due to the continuously shifting population in Headphoneland. Cameo appearances by folks both familiar and new will be incorporated. How long they each remain in business is up for grabs – or surrender, depending upon your paradigm. The Tertiary Characters Subject to change without notice. Mainly an opportunity to use the word “tertiary.” The Lighting: Provided by Astral Light and Magic, Indeed, subsidiary of Psychic Services, Indeed. The Music: This is, without a doubt, the best orchestrated metaphysical soap opera comedy drama ever in existence on any plane. The music is lovingly provided by the most astoundingly talented, unquestionably dedicated vocal and instrumental geniuses that The Grand Exalted Majesty could find. Can you hear it? Do you feel it? Regarding Intermission, Refreshments, Scheduling and Transportation: Provide your own. And now, without further Coke, Pepsi or Mountain Dew—Psychic Services, Indeed presents: “The Edge of Plight” “Episode One: The Foundation She awakened with a gasp to see his concerned face hovering over her. “Who are you?” she queried of the fuzzy blue energy she perceived. “I am the boogeyman,” he calmly replied, re-entering his body and offering her a hand up. “Good, ‘cause I’m about ready to boogey.” Madame Tonia accepted his assistance and stood. Feeling dizzy, she quickly sat back down. “Maybe you should wait a while. Let the ringing die down in your ears first. Have something to eat. Then we can boogie all you want to. In fact, I have some new steps to teach you if you’re up to it. Rest, though, that was a humdinger of an séance excursion last night.” “Were you there, or did you hear?” She was still in Fuzzyville and not fully committed to returning expediently. “How quickly they forget. I was your battery, my dear. Here. Have some mocha and carrots. I’ve got some congee simmering and some fresh papaya, too. Take your time. The dance floor will be there.” Count Chocula was such a wonderful host. Not a bad cook, either. She could smell the rice soup he had referred to; it smelled fabulous. Maui onions and Kauai apples gave it the calming, grounding zip she loved. “I feel like we’re being watched. It’s all coming back to me from last night. The beginning and the end, anyway. I’ll leave the middle where it is. Why do I feel observed?” “Well, Miss T., your creator invited the entire world into our drama. You feel observed because you’re on the web.” Old soul though he was, Count Chocula knew his modern technology. “The what?” “The web.” “What kind of web are you talking about? Are there cobwebs on me? I hate it when that happens. How long have I been asleep?” “The world wide web. You know, the Internet. It’s a cyberspace thing.” “That’s a lot of “w”’s. Ciderspace, indeed. Where are they? Can I see them? “I see you’re waking up now. No, you can’t see them. At least I don’t think you can. You surprise me fairly frequently, though, so we’ll just have to wait and find out, Madame. “The web. Internet. Ciderspace. Do I care about that? I don’t remember caring about that. Can I just let somebody else care about that? Bureaucrats, maybe? Bless their hearts…. I’m ready for more chocolate right now.” Count Chocula humored his friend respectfully. “You can do anything you want to do, Madame. You’ve got 15 days before you need to be back at work.” “Work? Another “w.” Is it a day job?” “Sure. Even the best superheroes have day jobs. It never lasts that long and it’s not all that bad. Don’t worry, you can do it.” “What is it this time? I don’t have to wear polyester, do I? I hate it when that happens.” “Negative. No polyester. You can wear whatever you want. You have an aura reading gig on a cruise ship.” “Now that sounds fun! And more night than day! What’s the catch?” Madame Tonia wasn’t born yesterday. There was always some kind of hook lurking somewhere. Its relative importance varied widely, but it was somewhere. “Wormuda Pentangle.” “What?” “Wormuda Pentangle. The cruise is a tour through the Wormuda Pentangle. Most of the cruiseliners don’t return; at least not to their designated point of departure.” “That’s some hook. And a “w,” too. Wow. Hmmm. How many people are booked?” “Eleven hundred, give or take.” “And I’m sure there will be plenty of that. Eleven hundred. Is that more or less than how many are on this web you mentioned a bit ago?” “That’s less. Substantially less.” “Okay. So, I’m off to work the Wormuda Pentangle. Bringing raucously fun enlightenment to the about-to-be-microwaved out of radio contact crew. Can’t be any worse than ciderspace. Maybe there’s a connection. Are there people looking into that?” “Government study.” “Should’ve known.” Madame Tonia grew weary and shifted her focus. “Did you get some new birds since I’ve been here last?” “Those are the same ravens, Madame T. They only come around when you do.” “What’s that dance they’re doing?” “West Coast Swing. They’ve taken a liking to Stevie Ray Vaughan.” “That’s a better “w.” Teach me the step?” “As you wish, Madame.” And so they danced, becoming more smoothly in sync with every number. He was a gifted choreographer and a strong lead. She wouldn’t follow just anyone, but she followed him well and enjoyed it. He accepted her backlead, too. Then they prepared. The cruise ship gig approached. He consented to going along as her battery. Where Madame Tonia went, astral adventures soon followed. Might as well be prepared. What will happen? Who will they encounter on the ship? What information will come through in the readings? Will they ever return? Will the gift shop be overpriced? Tune in next month for the next episode of “The Edge of Plight.” Send your input to: Evolve Now, subject heading: Edge of Plight. Or, mail your ideas to: Psychic Services, Indeed; Dept. EOP, P.O. Box 606, Kapa’a, HI 96746. Mahalo!
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